Safe to Be You

You need to feel safe to learn, to explore, to try new things, to take risks.

You need to feel safe to love, to care for others.

You need to feel safe to perform your best.

You need to feel safe to be happy.

We human beings need to feel safe internally in order to function well in any situation.  This is not just a pop psychology good idea.  It is a biological, physiological truth.  When you don’t feel safe in any moment, your nervous system is going to be triggered to defend against the unsafety in some manner.  Even the thought/fear of making a mistake or being late or displeasing your boss or wife/husband will “make” you feel unsafe and trigger your nervous system into some degree of fear mode.

The Basic Principles

  • We human beings are biologically “wired” for survival from birth and throughout our life span.
  • Our “survival system” includes “the attachment system” and the “fight/flight/freeze system.”
  • If your “system” (your physiological system) detects/perceives a danger, your fight/flight/freeze system will be triggered and all the resources of your body will be mobilized to “fight” or “flee” the danger.  This is a mostly unconscious and automatic process.
  • When your nervous system is triggered even a little bit into “unsafe mode”, your whole body system will immediately start to go into some degree of mobilization to defend against the danger.  When you’re in unsafe mode, you don’t learn most effectively, or think creatively, or problem solve, or relate, or be happy, or pretty much do anything most effectively, other than focus on the fear.  This stress response system is optimally functional when there is real danger to your safety in the moment, but it is not functional when there is no real present danger.
  • If you have a “secure sense of self”, your fight-flight system will be triggered much less of the time.   You will be much less likely to scare yourself with thoughts or stories of danger when there is no real present danger.  Conversely, if you have an “insecure sense of self”, your stress response system will be much more likely to get triggered more frequently and may even be chronically “on”.
  • A person with good brain integration skills, good present reality awareness skills, (1) will be more skilled at NOT scaring him/herself with thoughts or stories of danger when there is no real present danger; (2) will be more skilled at noticing when she/he has a danger thought that has no basis to any real present danger; and (3) will be more likely to quickly coach/re-direct her/himself to present reality, balance, and well-being when she/he does have a non-reality danger thought.  A person who is less skilled at brain integration and present reality awareness will engage in more self-scaring patterns and be less skilled at re-directing him/herself to present reality, balance and well-being.

The Goals:

#1: To make the case for the need to feel safe inside oneself for optimal effectiveness in all aspects of life  — through research, interviews, and stories.  Every aspect of human life is a potential focus area for highlighting the importance of feeling safe inside.

#2: To bring the research to life in application for “everyman” and “everywoman” — help people “get” the following truths about themselves and the important people in their lives:

  • Much (if not most) daily stress in modern urban life is caused by self-generated mental fear, or what we respectfully call “Fantasy Fear.”  Every time you or I scare ourselves with thoughts that “something’s wrong,” or “something might be wrong,” when there is no real danger in the moment, we cause stress in our nervous systems, and we don’t/won’t/can’t perform our best.
  • Modern urban life is not inherently stressful.  It’s our thoughts that make it so.
  • Fear and fight/flight is functional (and biological/physiological) when your physical safety (or the physical safety of someone close to you) is being threatened in the present.
  • Fear and fight/flight is not functional when your physical safety (or the safety of someone close to you) is not being threatened in present reality.

#3:  To help readers, viewers, listeners, improve their skills at:

  • realizing/observing/owning (without judgment) their most common patterns/habits of “self-scaring” and “self-stressing;”
  • Develop effective strategies for minimizing stress from “fantasy fear.”
  • quickly identifying when they start to go into “fight-flight” response, when there is no real threat or danger to their safety and quickly lead themselves back to the balance internal safe (homeostasis).

#4:  To provide real-life solutions for changing the “un-safe” thought patterns that many of us have wired into our brains.

#5:   Educating the Culture about the basic life principles of SAFE TO BE YOU to the widest possible audience who can and will influence others to take more responsibility for their daily “internal safety” and for minimizing stress.

#6:   Be financially successful.

The Media for the Message:

  • Website, blog, podcasts, videos, online interviews with researchers/teachers/recognized authorities, focusing on human attachment system research, the stress response research (the “fight, flight, freeze” response) and the need to feel psychologically safe to learn, be balanced, and perform most optimally in any activity of life.
  • Successful research-based, culture-help/self-help book for general mainstream audience, synthesizing the “Safe to Be You” research in clear, easily-accessible tone, but without dumbing it down.
  • Books, manuals & web content (including audio & video), for parents, for teachers, for coaches, therapists, and even for children, to teach and encourage “Safe to Be You Skills” for success and happiness in all areas of life.

Target Audiences

We envision SAFE TO BE YOU to be produced in a way that is accessible and relevant to all these audiences:

The Learning/Skill-Building Realm:

“You Need to feel Safe to learn, grow, develop, most effectively”

  • Parents
  • Children
  • Teachers (any and all teachers)
  • Students of all ages
  • Athletes & athletic coaches
  • Performers (musicians, actors, dancers, etc.)
  • Managers

The Work/Effectiveness/Success Realm:

“You need to feel safe to try new things, to take risks, to perform most effectively.”

  • Entrepreneurs
  • Career Success
  • Work Team skills

The Relationship Effectiveness Realm:

“You need to feel safe to care for and relate well with others.”

  • Dating
  • Marriage
  • Family
  • Work Relationships
  • Community/Neighbor relationships
  • Friend relationships

The conventional wisdom for web and book publishing success is to pick one niche or target market. Our strategy for SAFE TO BE YOU is to do both: (1) produce a successful, long-lived, influential best seller to the broadest audience possible (including all of the above audiences), along with a successful, long-lived, influential, web presence;  and (2) produce series of books and other materials targeted to particular niches.

Ideal Team

A science writer or non-fiction writer who “gets” the depth and importance of the SAFE TO BE YOU research, who wants to help translate the simple, profound implications in ways that most anyone could apply in their daily lives, who wants to work collaboratively with LGIBooks’ unique audio-system for developing content, and who would be skilled and eager to do the researching and interviewing necessary for integrating/synthesizing the most relevant research that supports these profound, yet basic, self-awareness/self-management skills.

A psychotherapist who resonates with the universally applicable messages of SAFE TO BE YOU for mental, emotional, behavioral health, and wants to make it a focus of his/her therapy and teach these principles to a broad audience (speaking, videos, online classes)

A scientist/researcher (Ph.D. level in any discipline related to “human nature science”), involved in research related to attachment theory, stress response, self-awareness/consciousness and who wants to be part of a consilient team for translating this research for application in most anyone’s daily life

A teacher/educator who wants to Educate the Culture about the principles of SAFE TO BE YOU — could be a teacher to the culture in the broadest sense or a teacher/educator in one or more of our niche areas (see above in Target Audiences)

A publishing professional who sees the success potential of SAFE TO BE YOU and the potential for spin-off projects

Investors who want to help Educate the Culture about the basic principles of SAFE TO BE YOU and believe in its potential for financial success